"Proclaim"

George Costanza, summer, and making peace with the limitations of mortality

What does the word “proclaim” even mean? Where would I go with this week’s post? I turned to this famous Seinfeld quote by George Costanza, where George is planning his kick-ass summer after finding out he’s getting three months’ severance pay from his job at the Yankees.

George: "I'm really going to do something with these three months. I'm gonna read a book. From beginning to end. In that order. I'm gonna play frolf—golf with a frisbee, Jerry. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the fruits and let the juices drip down my chin."

But where does that leave us?

Even though I’m in a much different position than George: starting a new job, rather than receiving time off and severance pay, it’s now the second half of April, and that means spring is officially here, which means a warmer, busier, and more lively time of year. As well as looking ahead to the summer months.

The sacred summer months. Weekends of outdoor concerts, swimming in the reservoir, hiking (and sweating while hiking), and long hours of daylight into warm, buzzy, late nights.

Summer used to be, hands down, my favorite time of year. And while part of me still feels that way, there’s another part that dreads the over-scheduled, high expectations of June, July, and August.

This year, I’m afraid I’ll have even higher expectations, as this will be my last summer in northern Colorado before moving away. Christian and I recently decided that the time is nigh for our latest dream—living in a city on the west coast. We’re planning to take the leap and move to San Francisco in September. And while I’m ecstatic about this next new adventure, my ideal summer bucket list before the move is long.

I want to go to Yellowstone NP (planned), I want to see Crestone and Great Sand Dunes NP (unplanned), I want to see another weekend of Phish (planned), I want to do another camping trip (unplanned), I want to see one more show at Red Rocks (planned), I want to have lots of heartfelt get-togethers with all of my friends here, I want to do every hike I’ve loved here one more time, I want to do a day-long bike ride and picnic, I want another visit to every Denver neighborhood I love, another Boulder visit, another Louisville afternoon, another, another, another…

One night last week, as I was trying to plan a camping trip, I asked Christian if there would be enough time before we move to do everything I want to do, and he responded, “No.” I was taken aback by his simple statement of an answer, and yet it was exactly what I needed to hear. There very likely are not enough weekends to do everything I want to do this summer.

And yet that’s usually the case; it’s not just because I’m moving. It’s because there’s never unlimited time. And so, I exhale. I take another breath in and out while I close my eyes with one hand on my heart. — I’m mortal. I’m limited. I don’t like to face that fact. And yet, from another perspective, a vast amount of time and space still lies before me. If I get that camping trip planned, great. If I don’t, there will be another beautiful way to spend that summer weekend, because god knows, I’ve got ideas!

May we all take a breath, thankful for all the possibilities before us, and trust that our summer (and our life) will work out just the way it needs to.